Last Friday, Emma turned 5 months. In the five months since she has been born, I have had my husbands law school graduation, Mastitis, Christmas, New Year's, the Bar exam, a UTI, a bladder infection, kidney stones, insomnia, Easter, and post partum depression. Pregnancy, labor and delivery were walks in the park compared to post partum. I am so thankful that Emma is an incredibly good baby.
I was put on Lunesta and Prozac, which have just started kicking in. At first, I was so sleepy on the Prozac that in order to stay awake I had to keep moving. My house is probably the cleanest it's been in a long time- completely mopped and disinfected.
Saturday, I noticed some sand fleas by our back door. As the afternoon progressed, it turned into a sand flea invasion. When your house is as clean as mine was, it feels like a personal violation to have little bugs coming in from your backyard. Of course one found it's way into Emma's diaper and feasted on her tender cheeks. I felt like an awful mother even though I have no control over nature. I went in the kitchen and was slapping fleas as they entered. I considered whether or not I was actually psychotic as I killed fleas with the palm of my hand. What if the fleas were a figment of my imagination? "Oh well...", I thought. "The guy in A Beautiful Mind was crazy yet genius. Maybe I'm loopy, but I can still function." Clark went to Lowe's to buy poison to spread and spray. I put Emma in her swing for a nap, baked a Totino's pizza, opened my reserve of french onion dip and dug in. As I scooped a chip full of delicious dip, I considered my emotional eating frenzy and realized I needed to start blogging. An outlet for the craziness, a place where others can laugh at the unbelievable yet ordinary events of my day, may be essential for my survival. Okay, maybe not survival, but essential at least for the prospect of having more children. SO read my posts, ignore my horrible spelling, and laugh at my stories. I promise honesty with little embelishment. Real life is so good it rarely needs editing!