How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

    Good afternoon from the once again snow-covered hills of Buda.
    As most of my friends and family know, I really like for people to be happy, especially in relation to me. It is very important that I always do the right thing, whatever that may be, and I struggle with wanting to somehow ensure everyone else's satisfaction with my performance in life. This is not always possible, nor should it be our focus in life. Below are some helpful tips on how to overcome the issue of people pleasing.

1.)Move to a foreign country.

     I don't speak the language. You don't speak English. You want to read my gas meter, but I
    don't know where it is.
    There was a sign on the road back there that looks like I'm approaching a railroad crossing, but   
    now someone is yelling at me in Hungarian and motioning with their hands that they want me to
    move my car...
    I'm sorry I am going slow, but I am deathly afraid of being pulled over by the police here.

    See Hungarian driving laws here.

Could you please pour my latte into a disposable paper cup? Because I forgot that the standard is a real, latte glass, and you expect me to sit and read while I enjoy my coffee. In America, the standard is "to-go".  I'm not saying that's right, but I am feeling guilty about making you, Mr. Barista, change my coffee into a paper cup.

I forgot to label my produce with the SKU, so now you, un-smiling-grocery-checker-lady, can either wait while I go weigh my bananas, or you can put them back later.

2.) Have Three Children.
I think, instead, that should just read, "Have children." Just TRY to keep everyone else in the world happy while you pinch your misbehaving two year old. Somebody won't like the misbehavior, but somebody won't like the discipline. Good luck.

No matter how much I try, those little people are bound to sin at some point today, and I feel like if they mess up or bother someone or breathe, I will receive "the look" from some perfect person at some point in my day implying that surely I could do better. Nope. I am leaning hard on Jesus, I'm already tired tomorrow, and the doctor said I should run instead of take prozac (Hahaha. She's got a sense of humor, that one does.). If you want to enter my circus, these monkeys will become your monkeys.


3.)Hire a house cleaner.
    Y'all. Okay, so this is an area where I'm still a work in progress. The non-people pleaser
    Katelyn would be like, "Hello! Here's my house. Thank you so much!"
    I am so worried about how my mess will reflect on me that I literally just lied to the new house
   cleaner. "I'm so sorry about how messy the house is. I've been sick for, like, two weeks."
 
   If you add the word "like", it can be hyperbole, right? It felt like I was sick for two weeks, but it   
   was one..., and it was a month ago.  Really I was just trying to throw my husband and kids under
   the bus for the messy state of my house. WE ARE ALL TO BLAME! And why am I apologizing
   for my messy house and all the work they will have to do? Why am I seeking their approval? I have
   just guaranteed them job security. In fact, one pulled me aside a few minutes ago and said very
   kindly, "If you call my number, I can come more often." Sounds like a win for all of us!


   So there you have it, friends, my tips for how to stop being a people pleaser. Let me know how these tips work for you and if you have any other tips and tricks you would like to add.

BIG HUGS FROM BUDAPEST!

Help, and Thank You.

 "Rejoice always,  pray without ceasing,  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

 I have been working on my prayer life lately.
   In the mornings when I get up, I have my Bible study/quiet time before waking the kids. I was thinking the other day how strange it is that I expect the Lord to speak to me through scripture, but I rarely seek His voice in prayer. If we teach our children that prayer is a conversation between us and God, shouldn't He and I talk more? And, really, shouldn't I listen? Often times my Bible study becomes an inductive book study rather than my heart yearning to hear from my Savior. So, on the days where my mind won't focus on the words I'm trying to read, I gently shut my Bible, get on my knees, and talk to Jesus. And sometimes, I actually don't talk, but I listen.

 To all you non-parents, this paragraph may be a bit TMI. Ransom has been having accidents in the night. We went a solid week in boxer-briefs and whitey-tighties with no problem, and then Monday happened. It's now Thursday, and I have my bed-stripping routine down to 12 minutes total time. That's from the moment he comes and gets me to the moment my head hits the pillow and everything in-between. Last night as I was groggily walking back down the stairs, I remembered my thought on prayer when my kids were tiny babies. Sometimes the only prayers we can utter go something like, "Help, and thank You." Help, because we don't know what we need, but we need something, or we know what we want but we don't know how to get there. We need the baby to stop crying and let us sleep, we need (or want) our big boy to sleep through the night without wetting the bed, we want our daughter to be brave when facing another day at school. But sometimes all we can think is, "Help."

  For whatever reason, my "Help" prayers are almost always followed by "Thank You." I'm not sure if it's because I'm well-enough acquainted with the Lord to know how He operates, and that He will come through in His perfect time, or that the Spirit has given me a heart that longs to trust my Heavenly Father, but I know it will work out, so I thank Him. I know deep in the recesses of my soul that He is good, He is all-knowing, and He is trustworthy, even if the baby keeps crying and I get 2 hours of sleep. My God never changed. He was there the whole time, and He will somehow get me through the next day. In hindsight, knowing how quickly the most physically draining years fly by, maybe it was the Spirit interceding for me with the thank you- thank You, that for a short time, I can hold and rock and comfort these tiny treasures. Thank You that You have the unknown mapped out and that you will help me get there.  Thank You for the things I am yet to be thankful.

 

Romans 8:26-28

 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.  And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

 

Sewing Perfection

   For the past few months I have begun thinking about blogging again (especially around 3:00 AM when it seems a good outlet for a busy brain), and since my sweet man is out at a Ranger's game, and I'm already a week behind with The Voice, tonight seems as good a night as any to restart.

  

   About 5 years ago, I received my grandmother's sewing box and some quilting squares which my grandmother had hand-stitched. They were brightly colored flowers, with happy yellow centers. I don't know anything about quilting, but I thought surely I could figure out something to do with these. They have sat untouched for 5 years in the metal tin in which they came. I've often opened the tin, looked at the squares, thought about piecing them together, and then closed the tin.
 
   I think I was afraid of messing up her work. She had already measured and cut every square (my absolute least favorite part of any sewing craft), cut, and stitched every petal, and lovingly stored them until she was ready to begin her quilt. I think I feared taking her quality work and turning it into an unacceptable attempt at being crafty.

   My grandmother went to be with Jesus this past Thanksgiving. I'm not sure why I decided today was the day to brave the task of working with her quilting squares, but I did. I placed the squares all neatly on the floor, and I began assembling a quilt for Emma Jane. As I set them out, I quickly realized something incredibly liberating: my grandmother's squares were not perfect squares. In fact, some of them were hardly squares at all... more like curvy rectangles. Okay, they weren't that bad, but when it came to pinning them together, there were obvious differences in the lengths of the sides, and for some reason, this helped me feel like I could start a quilt. Through the slight imperfections I found in my grandmother's work, I felt like perhaps I had something to bring to the table. Her imperfect work was beautiful; perhaps my attempts could be as well.

   I find relief remembering my grandmother was not perfect, but she now is. I don't know why I let perfection intimidate me when I have clearly seen how the Lord has worked through my weaknesses. "But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, catastrophes, persecutions, and in pressures, because of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-11
Here's to embracing my weaknesses one stitch at a time!

Hugs and Blessings!
Katelyn

  

  

Music to My [daughter's] [h]ear[t]s

This morning, Emma and I had to get out of the house kind of quick because the housecleaners came early, and I do not like being there while they work. I feel like I should be doing what they are doing. I know they are getting paid, and I am too hippo-like to scrub the shower or tub, but still...
ANYWAY- We headed to Starbucks (or as Emma calls it, THE Coffee Store) for my morning caffeine fix and a mish mash for Emma. Up by the register, they had the new Adele CD, which I've been meaning to purchase on Itunes. I thought, "Well, this way I can listen to it now rather than waiting until I have burned a CD or put it on my IPod..." So I bought it.
Emma and I headed back to the car with our vanilla soy late, 2 mish mashes, and CD. In the car, I quickly unwrapped "21", ejected "A Charlie Brown Christmas" from the changer, and inserted the gift to myself. The first song is "Rolling in the Deep", a catchy tune that Emma instantly started bobbing to. As we drove to a friend's house, she kept moving and grooving until song 2 came on.
She said, "Mommy, this song about Jesus?"
"Ummm... no, baby. This song is about a boy."
Quiet from the backseat...
"Mommy, this sad."
"What's sad baby?"
"Mommy, this song sad. Listen to Jesus music. Not sad."

I know it was a short conversation, but in that moment, I felt like my two year old had said so much. How much of an influence does music have on our mood or our thought process? This song was in a minor key talking about broken relationships, jealousy, and hurt. My two year old couldn't understand all of the lyrics, but she could deduct from the words she caught and the tune that something wasn't right, and it led her to feel sad. The songs my little girl wanted to listen to were about Jesus.

I put on David Crowder.
"Mommy, this Jesus music. Happy big Jesus music."
"Yes, baby. This is Jesus music."

She danced and talked happily the rest of the car ride.

I'm not saying I won't listen to my Adele CD, but when I do, and I will think of how it is effecting me and anyone else who can hear it, and I will be sure that I give equal playtime to some good "Big Jesus music".