LIVE-ing

Today, on my birthday, I was driving home from a beautiful baby shower, all by myself, windows and sunroof open, Coldplay resounding through my Bose speakers, and I noticed a car with one of those Coexist bumper stickers. Here is my thought: I don't want to just "coexist". I want to LIVE. Jesus said, "I have come that they might have LIFE and LIFE to the full!" (John 10:10) I want to sing loud with the windows down... I want to dance with my husband... I want to appreicate the gracefulness of the dragonflies in my backyard... I want to be mesmerized by Emma's blue eyes... and in those things, I want the world to see Jesus with me and through me-- seeing Him as the creator and sustainer of all things amazing and good. Living sounds so much more exciting than just "coexisting"...
"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." Matthew 10:34

Lazarus

Yesterday in Sunday school we studied John 11, the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. It made me think of this song. I have linked it for your listening pleasure!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rs1GiYIvnFs

:) :) :) :)

On your mark, get set, CRAWL!

I have not posted in exactly one month due to the mobility of my child (a.k.a. Emma is crawling and pulling up on everything). I laugh when people say that crawling will wear out a child and cause them to sleep better. HA. Emma can't stop! She falls asleep when I feed her a bedtime bottle, but the moment I lay her down in her crib, she wakes up and starts crawling again! I hear her on the monitor all throughout the night as she randomly sits up, talks to herself, and then crawls from one end of her crib to the other. So, if I get a chance, I will try to blog a more interesting post, but for now, I am busy keeping Emma away from Jussi (poor dog), out of Jussi's water bowl, off the fireplace screen, down the stairs, away from the stereo (very loud under her control), and basically as safe as I can while allowing her to have learning experiences. :)

Making the moolah

Last week I went to Beaumont, and I spent way too much money.

So, I have a new obsession:

KINGWOOD YARDSALES!!! (http://www.kingwoodyardsales.com/)

Somewhere in the craziness of my mind, I have decided I am going to cancel out my ridiculous spending by selling things from around my house, things I don't like or don't use or things that could fetch a good price ("Clark isn't wearing his watch, is he?" "Do we really need a daiper genie?"). You can help me on my way to self-created wealth by purchasing my unwanted junk. I'm not really sure how you go about doing this, but I'm sure the website explains it. I think you e-mail me, we meet somewhere, and we exchange cash for treasure. Because I sent e-mails to 5 friends (5 of my and Clark's e-mail addresses), I get a 7 day premiere package which includes pictures and a count of how many views my items have received. My puppy paw prints kit has receieved like 30 views! I'm just waiting for an offer!

Happy shopping!

Motherhood is a fascinating club. Rarely do you find such a group of exhausted women able to drive large vehicles, put pacifiers in mouths without looking, talk on the phone, and still get where they should be going without even having finished a full cup of coffee. Parenting is a fascinating experiement... Every choice is really a hypothesis based on previous theory which either leads to a positive conclusion or a new hypothesis. For example: Hypothesis: If I use teething tablets, Emma's gums will stop hurting. Conclusion: Teething tablets are good for temporary relief of teething pain (approximately 15 minutes). Hypothesis: If I give Emma applesauce, her tummy will feel better. Conclusion: Loose bowel movements are encouraged by sugar which is found in fruit. Hypothesis: If I give Emma noodles that I puree with olive oil and salt, her tummy will feel better. Conclusion: I have no idea if her tummy feels better, but she is a fan of pasta!
I am still amazed by the fact that the Lord knows the answer to every question, and yet He gives us the privilege of figuring things out step by step. Why has He trusted me with such a wonderful little girl??? Thank you, God, for Your omnipotence and Your patience. And thank you for teething tablets.

Bedtime prayers

Dear Lord,
When we get to Heaven, will the laughter of babies float sweetly among the angel choruses? Blue plastic bathtubs and flower watering cans may not be a part of the heavenly decor, but surely the joy that causes splashing hands and gummy grins will spring forth from our hearts, happy to be home.

One of Emma's bottom teeth is showing through her tender gums, and I feel excited, anticipating all the learning and development to come. Do you feel that way toward me? When I take a step in my faith, when I mature, are You excited?

I want to rejoice and be glad in every day You have made. You have entrusted me with the great privilege and responsibility of being a mommy. Thank you for this opportunity.

My heart's prayer will continue to be this: Please bring Emma to salvation at a young age. Help her to fall in love with You and Your Word in the years when it is easy to stray. Help Clark and me to be accepting of Your will for her life, whatever it may be. Thank you for the blessing that she is.
Amen.

Questions from the underwire

If matter can be neither created nor destroyed,

where did my chest go?

It is already 8:47 on Monday evening! Whew!

Friday night I had the joy of taking Emma to watch her daddy play softball! The guys in our Sunday school class are in a church league, and the wives and babies go and cheer them on. This was my first game to attend since it was the first one before 9:00 since I've been a happy person, and unfortunately it was their last of the season. It was soooooooooo much fun! They were really bad. The night started with an umpire yelling at my husband and two other guys, saying, "I've told you high school guys before that you can't play on this field." They politely explained that they were here to play as a B team in the church league, and after he noticed the wives and babies, he stopped chasing them off. Then the team we were playing arrived. They were men in their forties to sixties with gray hair and knee braces. As they walked by the bleachers where the wives were sitting we could hear them mumbling about how young these guys were and how badly they thought they would be beat. Little did they know that most of our twenty year old husbands were in the band rather than on the football team. As the game began, it was obvious that our sweet spouses had more experience with computer keyboards than batting cages and more spirit than skill. They gave it their all and seemed to have a really good time. One of my favorite parts was how proudly the girls would shout for their not-so-athletic batter/fielder, as though they had just hit a homerun at Yankee Stadium or fielded the most cruicial out. Our guys did put forth a valiant effort, losing by only two runs. Afterword we went to the Wolfram's house for ice cream sundaes and fellowship. I was struck by how wonderful it is to have great friends who really love their mates as much as I do, even if they aren't going to be drafted into the major leagues any time soon.

Saturday=Supper 6 with the Smithsons and Meriwethers at our house (Yea for Stouffer's lasagna and green bean bundles.
Sunday=Slept until 7:00 (thanks Emma!), leisurely ate breakfast, got ready, Sunday school, church, Los Cucos with wonderful friends, home for an hour and a half, to the Pearce's for burgers and a youth workers' planning meeting, then to the Burris's until way past Clark's bedtime
Monday=LAUNDRY. And now it is 9:00, and I think I will join my star athlete in bed! Goodnight!

Prophets, Baked Beans, and Pulled Pork

Happy Memorial Day a little late! Monday, Clark and I went to a barbecue at the home of one of his co-workers. That would be normal enough, but you need to know that Clark and I were the only non-Mormons in the whole bunch. The ONLY non-Mormons. I love meeting new people, Clark can be a social butterfly when he chooses to be, and Emma is always up for a party, so this little LDS detail put an interesting spin on things. Clark and I came away from the barbecue feeling like the Baptist church has much to learn from the Mormons. They go to a certain church based on where they live, so there is no church-hopping or leaving because you don't like the music. They spend TONS of time together in and out of church, so this barbecue felt more like a regular family get together. Most of the couples had at least one baby, but everyone took care of everyone elses children, like really loved aunts and uncles. There were no observable cliques, everyone seemed to get along, and everyone seemed to really enjoy being together. I was thinking what a benefit this is to their kids. Not only do they have all these kind, loving adults to mentor them, but they are safe among children who have shared beliefs. During their most formidable years, they are pretty well sheltered and surrounded by people who will train them up in their faith. If we as Baptists were this dedicated to spending quality time with one another, with raising our children up in our faith together, with being a body of believers versus church-hopping individuals, imagine the effect we could have on our communities for Christ. I was impressed by these Mormons. And the pulled pork was fantastic.

Psalm 46:10

Every time I put Emma down for her nap, I am reminded of this verse. She fights sleep even as her eyes are rolling back in her head. I, being her mother, know that the best thing for her to do would be close her eyes, stop her kicking, and just relax into my arms. She can fall asleep peacefully knowing that I love her, and when she wakes up, I'll be there to provide for her. "Be still, and know that I am Mommy..."

Could God give me a clearer message???

Just as I want Emma to give in and trust me, He, my Heavenly Father, wants me to lean fully into His strong arms and relax. He knows what I need when I don't have a clue. He holds on tightly and lovingly while I kick and fuss, refusing to bend my will to fit His. Ultimately He wins, and undoubtedly it is what's best for me. Why not just crawl into His open arms, "stop striving", and know that He is God? Rest and relaxation at its finest...



"Be still (NAS: Cease striving), and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10

c/o: Mothers

Today we went to a playdate at a friend's house. Emma spit up on her burp rag and on the table. I didn't realize how much she had spit up on the burp rag, so in my efforts to clean the table, I continued to multiply the spit up. It was gross! Sorry Jenny!!!

I have permission from Clark to tell this next tid-bit. Last night Emma decided she was hungry. When Emma decides something, there is no changing her mind or putting her off for a little bit. She wanted food, and she wanted it immediately. SO-- with her on my hip, I am semi-hurriedly making a bottle and mixing rice cereal in a baby bowl, getting her Bumbo ready for use, etc. In walks Clark. I guess he sees me doing all the things I'm doing (?), but he is busy preparing his workout clothes and gymbag for the morning. I somehow got baby, bottle, bowl, and Bumbo to the table and began successfully feeding Emma when Clark asked me if he had clean jeans. I told him that his jeans were indeed clean but in a mountain of clean clothes on our bed, so if he wanted them to be wrinkle free, he probably needed to go get them and fold them. OR, I said, "Do you want to feed Emma, and I'll go fold your jeans (and all your other clothes)???" He said, "I'll take care of myself, thank you." OR I guess it could have been "I'll take care of myself. Thank you." EITHER WAY--- It struck me as really ironic that while I had rice cereal in my eyelashes he was going to take care of himself. I guess I should have been thankful that it was one less person to take care of, but I selfishly though, "WOW! What's that like-- taking care of just yourself????" I've often wondered what would happen if I just handed him Emma and said, "I'm going to run to ______. Love you!" Tee-hee.... Panic!!!! That's what would happen! He does hang out with Emma while I run errands, and he is great with her! But I guess it's kind of like in Indian families: the daddy could leave to go hunting at any time, but mommy has the baby strapped to her. Being a mommy sure does make you realize all the things your mom did that you took for granted, how she was always the last one to go to sleep, or how your clothes always magically made it from the washer to the dryer, or how she never lost your record of vaccinations even though it's just a flimsy piece of paper! Motherhood is such a selfless business. I'm glad that you are allowed to learn by watching wonderful examples (thank you, Momma) and through a bit of trial and error. Happy Friday, everyone!

Grandma Jane, Paw Paw, and Emma

One of my favorite pictures of all time: Emma is in my PawPaw's arms looking up and belly laughing at Grandma Jane. What a blessing to be able to see my daughter in the arms that held me so many time! I am so privileged to have these amazing grandparents!

Beginnings of blogging

Last Friday, Emma turned 5 months. In the five months since she has been born, I have had my husbands law school graduation, Mastitis, Christmas, New Year's, the Bar exam, a UTI, a bladder infection, kidney stones, insomnia, Easter, and post partum depression. Pregnancy, labor and delivery were walks in the park compared to post partum. I am so thankful that Emma is an incredibly good baby.

I was put on Lunesta and Prozac, which have just started kicking in. At first, I was so sleepy on the Prozac that in order to stay awake I had to keep moving. My house is probably the cleanest it's been in a long time- completely mopped and disinfected.

Saturday, I noticed some sand fleas by our back door. As the afternoon progressed, it turned into a sand flea invasion. When your house is as clean as mine was, it feels like a personal violation to have little bugs coming in from your backyard. Of course one found it's way into Emma's diaper and feasted on her tender cheeks. I felt like an awful mother even though I have no control over nature. I went in the kitchen and was slapping fleas as they entered. I considered whether or not I was actually psychotic as I killed fleas with the palm of my hand. What if the fleas were a figment of my imagination? "Oh well...", I thought. "The guy in A Beautiful Mind was crazy yet genius. Maybe I'm loopy, but I can still function." Clark went to Lowe's to buy poison to spread and spray. I put Emma in her swing for a nap, baked a Totino's pizza, opened my reserve of french onion dip and dug in. As I scooped a chip full of delicious dip, I considered my emotional eating frenzy and realized I needed to start blogging. An outlet for the craziness, a place where others can laugh at the unbelievable yet ordinary events of my day, may be essential for my survival. Okay, maybe not survival, but essential at least for the prospect of having more children. SO read my posts, ignore my horrible spelling, and laugh at my stories. I promise honesty with little embelishment. Real life is so good it rarely needs editing!