Friday, February 19, 2016

In the Que (aka Still Waiting)

 I thought by this time I would be posting pictures of tiny baby toes and announcements of length and weight. It is a surreal thing to be ten months pregnant while someone else is carrying the baby. Titus is 6 days past his due date. At Melanie's doctor appointment yesterday, they made plans to induce either Monday or Tuesday. While it is hard for me to be patient, there is this strange end in sight. Emma asked last night, "What if Titus doesn't come until 2017?" Because Melanie is not an elephant, I expect Titus to come before then. (Poor elephants...   Animals with Really Long Gestational Times )

 I am learning so much in all of this. I am learning to look for praises in the midst of the waiting. 
  • There were two days in February where Clark would not possibly have been able to leave work and be with me in Houston. Praise: We have passed those days! He can be there! 
  • Ransom had a bad cold this past week. Praise: I got to cuddle and focus on taking care of him and I get to bring a newborn home to a healthy family!
  • My dad was here since Monday evening. Praise: He now knows well the ins and outs of our weekly routines and feels confident in being the substitute mom!
  • My house was a bit messy. Praise: Nesting happens even for adoptive moms! This is the cleanest my house has been in a long time!
  One of the praises I am most thankful for is the support and encouragement we have received from friends and family. As we wait, they pray, they gain understanding regarding our adoption, they support us with love and encouragement, and they are present. 
  Waiting is hard, but I believe God's timing is perfect. He is using this time to add weight to Titus's tiny body, to strengthen his lungs, and to prepare us to be his family. 
   Please continue to pray for Melanie as she carries this sweet boy. Pray for her health, strength, and peace in the days to come. 

Tuesday, February 9, 2016


   In my excitement and eager anticipation of Titus's impending arrival, today I told lots of people that his due date is Friday. I lied. Titus's due date is actually Sautrday. I always knew it was February 13th; I just thought I would skip over Friday in an effort to hurry and get to Saturday! 
   The crazy thing, as anyone who has ever been pregnant or around a pregnant person in their life knows, is that due dates don't always mean very much. We could get a call at any moment that Melanie is in labor and Titus is on his way... Or we could pass Saturday without any change, and remain in this expectant stage for who knows how much longer. Well, hopefully not very much longer, for Melanie's sake! In all of this, I am reminded that it is the Lord who determines when first breaths will be taken, and that I can trust He has his eye on Titus and Melanie in this moment. 
   You know how babies are measured relative to fruit during pregnancy? Titus is not a plum or a mango. Best I can figure, he is the size of a regular watermelon. He is baby-size, a tiny human waiting for his lungs to miraculously go from receiving fluid to air, his eyes soon to be met by blinding light, his ears near to hearing sounds and voices that have previously been only muffled and muted. In all the fascination and difficulty of the adoption process, I dare not miss the fact that Titus is a miracle pointing directly to the Creator. Though his birthday will be filled with many emotions, it will be a day of celebrating and praising God for allowing us this glimpse into His creative work. 

"For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.
 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
    I awake, and I am still with you."
Psalm 139:13-18